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Just Press Start

8/17/2014

Recently, I was working with a lovely client, who came to me for help with the depression she was feeling after her youngest child left for college. As a single mom, she was truly experiencing an “empty nest” since she was literally home alone after her daughter went away to school. This was a radical change in her lifestyle since her kids had been a daily presence for over 20 years. Now, what was she to do all alone? In expressing her sense of loss and loneliness, she admitted that one of the hardest things she’d had to face was the dishwasher. She told me that with a veiled smile, but she was completely serious. The fact that it took her days to fill up the dishwasher with enough dishes to justify running the wash cycle really brought home to her how different her life was now. All she could feel was sadness and isolation. As we talked some more, I tried to help her turn that narrative around. First, I pointed out what a fantastic job she’d done as a single mom, sending all three of her children off to great schools. They were successful and independent and had thrived under her good parenting. Then, I suggested that she turn this sense of loss into a feeling of empowerment. She had earned a break! I asked her what she might like to do now that she no longer had the daily obligation of tending to children. At first, she couldn’t think of a thing, but as we chatted further, it came to her that what she would love to do is travel to some exotic place, maybe even sign up for a mission trip, so that she could help others and see the world at the same time. I heartily encouraged her to do just that and I saw her face light up and her mood change dramatically. She had a new purpose and a new goal! She realized that life does go on and there was a lot more living she had to do. I was thrilled to see the transformation in her energy! Until… I noticed a shadow once again cloud her face and I asked her what had brought her down. She sighed, “The dishwasher…” Such a seemingly silly thing, but it still served as a reminder of what she’d lost. I looked at her with a smile and said, “Just press start.’ She looked at me without expression for a moment, then burst out laughing. “You’re right,” she replied. “That’s exactly what I need to do!”

If you're feeling at a loss...in transition...don't know which way to turn...come in for a chat! It's a great place to start....
Hugs!!
Elizabeth
SageCrossings.com

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Quiet, Please!

5/19/2014

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In our contemporary culture, we live in a constant state of overstimulation. All day, every day we are receiving tweets, texts, Instagrams, Facebook updates, emails, instant messages…and on and on…not to mention the background noise of old-fashioned media, like radio, TV, and even billboards along the highway. Information is constantly being hurled at us, so it’s hardly surprising that many of us feel stressed and anxious most of the time. We are on input overload since we are always “on” and processing a steady influx of information. And none of this is going away anytime soon. In fact, with new technology like Google Glass, we are going to be even more plugged in, more of the time. Our world may soon resemble that of Tom Cruise’s character, John Anderton, in the movie Minority Report, where we are continually fed customized advertising as we walk down the street. How to cope in such a stressful environment?!

Here are some tips that can help you carve out some quiet time. Even the most extroverted among us can benefit from a break from all the chatter. Easier said than done? Maybe. But here are some spaces in your day that might provide you a blissful moment of peace and quiet.

1)      Try your daily commute in silence. Turn off the radio. Mute the phone. Take out the earbuds. Instead of having your focus divided, pay attention to the scene around you. The commute will be much less stressful if you take it as an opportunity to enjoy the things around you rather than stress about your day.

2)      Take a walk at lunchtime. Rather than grabbing a quick bite at your desk. Get your lunch and head outside. Find a comfortable spot, then sit down and actually pay attention to what you’re eating. Enjoy your lunch instead of gulping it down between texts.

3)      Designate an evening “time out.” After you’re home from all your daily activities and you’ve had your evening meal, take a break. Instead of turning on the TV, go outside and enjoy your neighborhood, take a relaxing walk, or simply sit quietly and relax, without giving a thought to what you “should” be doing.

4)      Find time for meditation. Meditation can seem daunting at first because it’s so hard to shut down our active brains. Try it for 10-15 minutes at first to simply rest your mind and draw your attention to stillness. Burn some scented candles or incense and simply enjoy some unstructured time when you’re not focused on to-do lists, problems, and plans.

Any one of these activities can help you ease your stress and find a little peace in your day!

If you’d like to learn more about Meditation, join me for my Mindfulness and Meditation series, every Wednesday evening (6:30-8:00) from May 28th to June 18th. Follow this link for more information!

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Changing Directions

4/24/2014

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I love this sign. Most of the time signs are in place to tell us what we can't do...No Parking, No Stopping, No Standing, No Talking....on and on..But this sign is positive for a change...and so casually accepting. You want to make a U-turn? OK! Fine by us.

This sign also reminds me of how often in life we get stuck in the same old patterns. Our lives follow predictable paths whether we're happy with them or not. We may stay in jobs we don't really like or in situations that we don't find fulfilling because change is just too daunting or disruptive. What would other people think if we chose to make a major change? Who would disapprove? I would say to anyone who feels like they are on the treadmill of the same ole, same ole, but are looking for another way: U Turn OK! Sometimes a radical course correction is exactly what is needed. If what you're doing isn't filling your days with joy, then look around and see what can be changed. We may not all have the luxury of quitting our jobs and moving to the islands to while away our days on the beach, but we do have the choice of changing the way we see our situation. Look up from the road. Stop counting the mile markers and look at the scenery. This is your life, your journey. If you don't like the road you're on, then change direction. It's OK!

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Adaptability

3/17/2014

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The weather where I live has been crazy unpredictable this winter. This week alone has seen temperatures ranging from the upper 70s to the low 20s. Just a few days ago, it was short-sleeve weather and today, I’m looking out the window at the falling snow….and Spring starts on Thursday! This sort of lingering cold is rare for this area and difficult to adjust to, but it occurred to me that this sort of changeability is a great teacher. Even though we are all feeling yanked around a bit by Mother Nature, in the process we are learning to be adaptable. In these fast changing times, that is a skill well worth cultivating. We need to be prepared for anything. Just take a look at the latest headlines. A few weeks ago, who would have predicted that the Crimean region of Ukraine would be abruptly taken over by Russia? Who would have imagined that a jumbo jet could disappear from the skies without a trace, leaving grieving relatives wondering what exactly happened to their loved ones? Or that scientists working at the South Pole have detected ancient light patterns seemingly confirming the Big Bang Theory origin of the universe?! What will next week bring? We don’t know. We can’t know, but we can be prepared for mayhem or miracles by learning adaptability. Resistance creates stress, which engenders anger and impatience. There is a better path when we are confronted with unexpected obstacles and change. Instead of pushing back against it, absorb it. Let the shockwave of change move through you rather than strike hard against you. Find your peace through reflective practices like meditation, yoga, or prayer. Find the peace that adaptability provides.

Need help finding peace and coping with change? Come in for a meditation session, calming Reiki, or soothing aromatherapy.

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Just Press Start

Quiet, Please!

Changing Directions

Adaptability

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